Page 46 - NAMAH-Oct-2017

Namah Vol. 25, Issue 3, 15th October 2017

nervous state. I tried to recall information I entered into an unknown state where all
that might give me an explanation for it, relations to the mental and vital were gone.
such as having drunk too much coffee or I observed this state as if I was outside my
something else that would have made me body and, while continuing to exist out of
feel such nervousness in the whole body. the body, I emerged into another level of
Nothing could explain it except that I must consciousness … which appeared to me like
have been very tired, as was usual during a zone between unconsciousness and the
such a mission. I tried to relax, tried to breathe subconscient. In a moment of lucidity, I tried
and then I started to feel an unbearable pain to remember my name but I didn’t know my
in my left eye as if a knife was digging into name any more, the sense of self was gone!
it. It was a Friday night, so all my local team At that moment, I remember so clearly how
was away and I was totally alone in the guest I found it funny that I couldn’t remember my
house at Point Calimere Wildlife Sanctuary name while at the same time I could feel the
where the programme was taking place. Presence of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo in
an ethereal plane so vividly. It was so clear,
During this horrible pain where I could so evidently simple, that They were there, and I
barely breathe, I tried to concentrate on my remember experiencing being totally absorbed
breathing, then I realised that it was difficult and embraced in the Divine. You see, there
to give any order to my brain. At that second are no words to describe this specific moment
that I will never forget, when I witnessed outside time, when entirely absorbed in the
that my brain wasn’t functioning normally, Divine, with that sense of being in Eternity and
I could touch the panic in the blood vessel, that sense of complete freedom. In Mother’s
the acceleration of the blood pressure, the Agenda, The Mother speaks about the freedom
lack of oxygen and difficulty in breathing. of the body, “But there is a new type of freedom:
I observed that all the nerves and small it’s the freedom of the Body (3)”. Once again, no
muscles of my face were moving on their words would be able to describe the experience,
own. I couldn’t coordinate any action as I and with complete humility, I’m trying to share
had lost psycho-motor control as well as the it as closely as I had lived it.
capacity to move or speak. And when I tried
to speak, only gibberish came out without Then there was the perception of Something
any understandable words. The pain in my taking entire control of the body to make the
eye was getting so intense that I could see praannaayaama start on its own without knowing
that I was on the borderline of collapsing who I was individually. Only the breathing
into unconsciousness. was at work bringing ventilation and oxygen
into the blood vessels. This consciousness was
There, I touched something (the Life-Force?) not a way of thinking or feeling, because all
that made me absolutely determined to keep that was gone. Was I in an unknown living
conscious, knowing that if I collapsed it would process in a new stream of a new energy? In
be over. Then at that very specific moment, a the Agenda, The Mother speaks about “a wave-
point was reached where I felt no more pain like ondulatory movement (4)”. It seemed so
and it seemed that I was witnessing what was clear to me that consciousness is not a way of
happening in the body: : ‘the Observer’. And thinking or feeling but the origin of the Life-

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