Page 49 - NAMAH-Jul-2019

Prespective

The paradox of addiction

Mira Prabhu

Abstract
The worst addiction is to our limited sense of self. It is this egoic state, which we have carefully
fabricated over lifetimes, to which most of us are really addicted. Only a sharp intellect that can cut
through the illusions and delusions of relative life, coupled with a yearning for genuine peace, can give
us the determination to confront it and then dissolve it into a higher consciousness.

Just before the millennium, at a birthday had then turned his rage on him, abusing him
celebration held in a spacious loft in downtown sexually and beating him viciously, and no
Manhattan, I fell into deep conversation with one had been around to protect him.
an eccentric artist, who was rapidly rising
in a city where the competition is known to To cope with the chronic feelings of hopelessness
be beyond fierce. He told me he’d always and misery as a result of this abuse, he began
been intrigued by Indian art, culture and smoking pot in his early teens, then graduated
philosophy and his art reflected this interest. to hard drugs and liquor. Finally he ran away
He then proceeded to ask me searching from home and his addictions roared into top
questions about my life in south India, gear as he tried to survive on the streets. His
including how and why I had made my way rage against his father had grown murderous;
to the Big Apple. I found him to be highly when he was high, he confessed to me with
intelligent and perceptive — no; this was a wry grin, he would often fantasize about
not superficial party talk, but a true meeting killing the mean bastard and getting away
of souls. with it. Fortunately these thoughts never
turned into action.
In turn he spoke about his own life, and I
was stunned by his revelations, particularly In his twenties he fell in love with a woman
because he appeared to be the product of who, unable to cope with his erratic behaviour,
a loving background. He told me that his advised him to go to Narcotics Anonymous. He
mother had fled her vicious alcoholic husband resisted, and their relationship deteriorated
when he was only three and that his father rapidly. The night she left him for good he

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