Page 33 - NAMAH-Oct-2019

Notes on counselling

Dealing with bereavement

Dr. Soumitra Basu

Abstract
We are seldom taught how to deal with bereavement. Bereavement is associated not only
with psychological issues but also has occult implications. Moreover the soul-principle
which departs at demise can leave earlier leaving subjects to survive out of habit under
the influence of the spirit of the form. A hurry in performing last rites can leave the subtle
disengagement of consciousness incomplete. Such sensitive issues need to be appreciated
to understand how to deal with the phenomenon of bereavement. Unconscious mourning
can prolong depression in vulnerable subjects. Finally one must learn how not to grieve
for there can be conscious remembrance without mourning.

Bereavement is one of the most sensitive areas the deceased husband’s brother but such
in counselling. We are taught many things practices are becoming rare as societies shift
in life but we seldom are taught how to face to the individualistic phase.
death. Not only that. Our social structures are
very organised in terms of marriage and child Crisis
rearing but seldom address issues with the
same zeal and fervour when a hapless young The quiet and peaceful death of an elderly
lady is widowed or when a child is suddenly subject can be borne with spontaneity and
deprived of the person who was not only the ease. When a subject of any age is suffering
single breadwinner in the family but the main from a terminal illness, his or her fellow-
source of social and psychological security. beings have some time to prepare for the
impending doom. Things are different when
Indeed, there are some societies where taboos there is a sudden unexpected demise — an
on the bereaved, especially widows still exist, accident or a suicide or a very short illness.
resulting not only in social ostracising but The dimension of shock changes further when
financial distress. There were corrective one is in the midst of a natural calamity like
attempts like levirate marriage initiated by flood or earthquake with death all around.
the Jews facilitating automatic marriage to Gerald Caplan of the Laboratory of Community

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