Page 33 - NAMAH-Jul-2022

Namah When Depression is a “Psychological Necessity”

One ordeal we often pass through in Integral essence of all meaningful practice. It is also
Yoga in varying degrees is depression. Sri very reassuring. Somehow it gives the feeling
Aurobindo, in his Letters on Yoga, addresses that we are not on our own because there is
the problem squarely when he frankly writes, always this guiding hand.
“Depression is a clouded grey state in its
nature and it is more difficult for light to come It is obviously very unhealthy to anticipate
through clouds and greyness than through a these episodes. That is the role of the surface
clear atmosphere (1).” mind. It is a major factor in this play. When
that happens, the mental ego, with its sense
Sooner or later, as we embark on this path, it of dread and foreboding, collaborates
seems this greyness is sure to visit us in one in the whole process of depression and
guise or another. Even the most sincere will can unwittingly make the condition more
not be exempt. This yoga never invites escape; chronic. This anticipation usually draws its
there are no convenient exits in this practice. impressions from experiences of the past and
Sri Aurobindo writes that, “… these are things once the condition gets embedded in habit,
which come almost inevitably in one degree it becomes so much more difficult to uproot.
or another at a certain critical stage through
which almost everyone has to pass and which I came across the greyness at quite an early
a
usually lasts for an uncomfortably long time juncture in my sadhana. It arose at a time when
a
but which need not be at all conclusive or the initial euphoria and level of aspiration
definitive. Usually, if one persists, it is the was beginning to wane and when the vital
period of darkest night before the dawn which enthusiasm was starting to lose its sparkle.
comes to every or almost every spiritual I felt the sense of freshness was starting to
aspirant (2).” evaporate. In the early days of practice, we
find our aspiration depends a great deal on
Every conceivable human condition has to be the state of our vital nature. It is not a reliable
faced, endured and offered. As long as the fellow: the psychic connection has not been
ego is present, there will be no let-offs. As the properly fused and that takes time. So we
Mother says, “It is the ego that gets depressed initially progress in fits and starts.
(3).” As the very intention of our work is to
disarm the ego, it is hardly surprising that It was my second year on the path. From the
it will get depressed! The very practice we very beginning, it had been impressed upon
do provokes it. me to stay rooted in the body and keep it open
to the light. However now its darkness was
It is uncanny to notice how Sri Aurobindo’s engulfing me! It was most perplexing. What
words and explanations get constantly was truly happening? It was not until quite
reinforced by personal experience. Indeed, long after that I could get a clearer perspective,
I find it greatly intensifies the force of his until I read Sri Aurobindo’s words to a disciple
teachings. It is the resonance we feel that that the questioner’s depression, “… was due to
implants the words into knowledge. How a plunge one has to take into the sheer physical
can this knowledge ever be realised if the consciousness unsupported by any true mental
words remain unlived? This must be the light or by any vital joy in life… (4)” Somehow

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