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Namah Notes on counselling

bonds.

What would then be the basis of true
friendship? Aristotle distinguished three
types of friendship: friendships of pleasure,
of utility and of virtue. In the Aurobindonian
parlance, all the three types fall in the
domain of the outer being. One would
be surprised to place virtue on the same
pedestal as pleasure and utility. But Sri
Aurobindo considers that ethics (which
relationships at this stage were marked is the basis of virtues) is transitional.
by frequent and abrupt changes which The ethical trajectory starts from an
were indications of essential shallowness. infra-ethical level, traverses the ethical
Besides, the motive-force behind them domain and evolves into a supra-ethical
was not the need for personal contact but the consciousness. This evolutionary journey
intensity of feeling and agitating of emotion. of the ethical dimension cannot be accessed
The boisterousness of adolescence might be at the outer being. It can be experientially
the stimulation to escape inner loneliness realised by the inner being, by developing
(that follows the breaking of infantile ties) supra-rational faculties. The inner being is
and the adolescent’s peer group might supported not by the ego but by the soul-
give some relief, allowing the subject to principle.
experience feelings such as stimulation,
empathy, belongingness, the opportunity for The friendship of the future
role-playing, identification and the sharing
of guilt and anxiety, feelings needed for In Aurobindonian parlance, it is the deeper
individual growth (2). Yet that does not soul-principle that would be the basis of
guarantee a stable and enduring pattern the new friendship. The friendship of the
of friendship. future would be based on soul-camaraderie.
This would be the basis of new virtues that
As the vital plane of consciousness is the would manifest as the human consciousness
repertoire of conflicting emotions, it is the evolves. Sri Aurobindo considers the present
basis of ambivalence or mixed feelings and human being a half-made creature who
any friendship at the outer being or surface can grow out of his present limitations
personality would inevitably carry this and imperfections to evolve into a Gnostic
attitude which would be a deterrent to the Being.
stability of friendship. One could argue
that despite ambivalence, relationships In Sri Aurobindo’s vision, the friendship
between adolescents and their mothers based on soul- consciousness has not only
remain positive in the long run in the relevance in inter-personal life but also in
majority of cases but biological ties would collective life. He was contemplating to
have some innate advantages over social design a module of global unity but found

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