Page 47 - NAMAH-Oct-2024

Namah The Myth of Self-Love

this state. hidden patches of darkness. It is the surface
we relate to. Self-love, the Mother says, “....
In her discourses at the Playground, the is not a love that makes you forget yourself
Mother, whilst reviewing Sri Aurobindo’s (3).” Love should be a consecration, not a
work, The Mother, addressed this truth very self-immolation, “.... for true love seeks for
squarely: union and self-giving and that is the love one
must bring to the Divine (4).”
“I think self-love is a pleasant word for vanity.
Self-love means that one loves oneself more In fact, self-love wraps itself around a very
than anything else; and what he implies by meagre part of our self. We look at the
this, you see, are exactly those reactions fragments and not the whole. It puts us into
of a vanity which is vexed when one is not a state of unconscious self-indulgence. We
appreciated at one’s true worth, when one align to impressions, with what we are
does not receive the praise one thinks one comfortable and conditioned to see as our
deserves, or the reward one believes one has self. It is a familiar comfort-zone. If we live
earned, and when one is not complimented almost entirely on the surface, the only self-
for everything one does. Indeed, all these love we might recognise is our own form.
movements come from dissatisfaction, because Self-love might even plunge down to blatant
one doesn’t receive what one hoped to, what narcissism. When we take this poise, we identify
one thought one deserved to receive (2)!” only with impermanence. What we love may
be gone by tomorrow! Everything else will
Self-esteem too is a worthy concept but go sooner or later.
the reality is only a bloated self-pride. It
is sourced from a movement of ego. The Not many of us can claim to love truly. In
motivations behind the urge for self-love fact, if we do, it automatically reveals paucity
and self-esteem are almost identical. It comes in our being. “Ordinary human love is vital,
down to ego and self-interest. Up to a point, it emotional and physical and always egoistic — a
must be admitted, this ego will initially assist form of self-love. The psychic element is very
our growth. Ego is how our individuality small except in a few (5).”
first lays its footprint on the world. But
clearly, it is not something that can help us This imperfection is the crux of the problem
progress and grow in an enduring way. True and what negates the myth of self-love. We
and lasting well-being cannot be sustained need to endure and go through a whole furnace
by self-absorption. of purification to even begin to approach this
state. It is an immense tapasya. We need
The focus of self-love to address the entirety of our being. True
Love is the Absolute that sits high above the
As a consequence, when we direct this love summits of our being. It identifies only with
back onto ourselves, we tend to focus on the the Permanent within. Our nature must be
shell of our being, our surface nature, because divinised to reach the state of purest love.
that is how we view our reality. We eulogise It is truly a lifetime’s work, one which will
the gloss and conveniently pass over those inevitably extend into future Incarnations.

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