Page 40 - NAMAH-Jul-2019

Namah Vol. 27, Issue 2, 15th July 2019

of his father and his home had no pictures After a few sessions, Steven agreed to barter
and memorabilia of his father. His mother his music with the therapist. He agreed to
never remarried but was quite punishing and provide the therapist with a list of recordings
severe with him and he felt rejected by her. He from which the therapist would select and
began drinking from his early adolescence and Steven would provide two full cassettes per
continued to do so for the next twenty years session. This arrangement continued till the
during which he married and divorced. He termination of therapy.
somehow stabilised with the help of Alcoholics
Anonymous and at the age of 45 sought to The barter provided a way for Steven to apply
re-discover himself through counselling. He his compulsivity constructively. Rappoport
considered himself lonely and a failure in writes:
life and tried to deal with himself through
compulsive and ritualistic behaviour. “It was paying for his therapy. It was now working
for him rather than against him. He turned defense
As Steven’s meagre funds would have made into coping, avoidance into acceptance. The music
it difficult to pay for therapy sessions, he tapes provided him with an opportunity to prove
was proposed an ETB alternative which himself…The album collection later came to
he misinterpreted at first thinking that he represent an attempt to regain the lost father:
would have to sacrifice what he valued most. that is to retain the father and albums alike in an
After clarification he agreed but considered idealised state.
that he was too worthless to offer anything
in barter. “After some period of time, Steven became
frustrated with the tapes. His own compulsivity
After a few sessions he commented that the only became a burden…He became angry and
thing he valued was his collection of musical hated the whole idea. Eventually he recognised
records which he had been compulsively buying obsessive-compulsive mechanisms elsewhere in
and preserving meticulously with indexing his behavior, and he disliked them. He recognised
and cross-referencing but seldom listening. He how much time he spent putting everything but
had hundreds of albums which gave him pride his life in order. As he progressed in therapy, he
and he could bring out any record in a minute had less time (and less need) for his compulsivity.
as he had planfully preserved them well. He ..He found himself enjoying his music and was
was an audiophile and enjoyed tinkering with gratified by sharing it.. Steven once commented
his stereo. that, ‘The barter is more than payment — it’s the
giving of pleasure. For me it means that putting
It became clear that Steven could not enjoy effort into yourself can bring pleasure to someone
anything he valued and in fact got more else.’
and more detached from all his valued
possessions. The therapist talked about music “The barter became an integral aspect of therapy.
and a possible barter. He was encouraged It provided ego support and served as a perpetual
to explore getting closer to things he valued source of interpretive material. During periods of
and re-integrate them into his life instead of doubt and uncertainty, it acted as an outstretched
being detached from them. hand — as an anchor in rough seas (3).”

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