Page 32 - NAMAH-Jan-2020

Namah Vol. 27, Issue 4, 15th January 2020

A cheap bargain: life before and after diagnosis

Before cancer After cancer
A strong sense of doership Doership replaced by presence of the
Grace in action
Anxiety and stress a part of life Anxiety and stress virtually absent from
life. And whenever they visit, I take time
out to see how they manage to enter
Unawareness of the body, as if the body An intimacy with the body and all its
were abandoned and the Master of the sensations. A constant checking in with
body was missing the body to see how it is doing
A lack of faith in the cells of the body Slowly, with practice, an instillation of
faith and surrender in the cells
Unawareness of the body, abandoned Presence of a deep rest in the cells of
body; which at first when met with, the body, an undying faith in the all-
showed the presence of anxiety and pervading Grace
restlessness
Content of the mind: thoughts of others Contented mind: the mind is mostly at
and thoughts about myself, destructive rest, not wanting to reach somewhere;
thoughts about the future, negative although there is a lot of service work that
thoughts about the past; a background now keeps the mind engaged with; New
chanting of ‘things must not be this way’ opportunities spring up and the mind is
working directed by an inner guidance
No awareness of the free-will, life A deep awareness of the free-will and
on a default automated mode run by therefore a knowing that one has always a
tendencies and patterns of the mind and choice to suffer or to go through difficulties
vital without suffering, in surrender — looking
for the Light masked as darkness
Attachment a way of life. Attachment in Detachment as a bonus gift. Once the
relationships and having the inner anchor inner anchor is rightly placed, there is no
wrongly placed on situations and people need to derive pleasure from depending
around, thus making their life miserable on someone else
too
Contentment absent from life. Hence A deep inner contentment. Plus a longing
certain demands and expectations arising to go deeper and deeper
from situations, from people, to have that
temporary satisfaction
A life dedicated to the pleasures of the A life dedicated to inner growth, a
vital, the stories of the mind and an childlike enthusiasm to know, to seek and
unstoppable restlessness to learn new things

32