Page 42 - NAMAH-Apr-2020

Namah Vol. 28, Issue 1, 24th April 2020

and this leads to feeling hurt and hurting the way of living. Only much older, at the age of
other person back. What is the use of such a sixteen, could I make sense of what exactly I was
relationship? living through. Maybe it was these experiences
that led me to Pondicherry Ashram school. I
On the other extreme are people who become can’t imagine how blessed were those early
parents for unknown reasons and then get times at the school that within a few years after
so enmeshed in their self-centred love that coming here, I began to change completely.
they forget to care for the new life that they The same person who used to shrink away
have brought on earth. They think their from the word ‘spirituality’ turned completely
“responsibility” is to just provide food and around for there was so much adversity to face
shelter for the child and just disappear when in life and no choice other than to seek help and
the child emotionally needs the parents. But believe in a power much greater than human
nurturing a child goes way beyond that. Today support. That’s when, during free periods in
a countless number of children all around the school, I began reading more books of the Mother
world are a product of dysfunctional, broken and came across an essay called ‘To Know How
families. Research and studies only show To Suffer’ from the book, Words of Long Ago. The
fearful numbers for results but what is the more I read, the more my heart was filled with
use of it all? Are we getting anywhere better an inexplicable joy, I felt at peace with myself
than we were? It’s only the children who and knew that no matter what went wrong,
face the bleeding pain of this. As a child, to there was one safe place I could always come
choose between chocolate or vanilla ice cream back to, there was always that blessing packet
was difficult enough; imagine being asked to which I could hold between my palm and pray
choose which parent you want to live with. and always a diary where I could write out my
feelings to Her.
For me this beautiful dream of living with
both parents broke when I had to pay several Though life tried to break me several times
visits to a black-suited tall man,who sweetly in various ways and I broke down too but
asked: “Shona, who do you want to live with, each time found strength in standing up and
Maa or Baba?” Afraid of getting scolded at moving on again because the beauty of living
home for taking sides, I would remain quiet lies not in remaining broken for ever but in
but the truth was that I always wanted to live learning to collect those pieces, glue them
with both my parents, which of course will together and keep going with love in the
remain a dream until my next life! heart. So just a small word to those reading
this and who can in some way maybe relate
Growing Into Light it to their life-experience, I want to say, never
remain silent against injustice, always “Cling
Some events happen early in life to make us to Truth” as the Mother says and of course
stronger and leave us more mature. Childhood remain strong and keep spreading love.
was one such phase that opened me to a wide
range of experiences more negative than To know how to suffer
positive. Back then, I never understood what was
happening, but in fact took that life as a normal “If at any time a deep sorrow, a searing doubt or

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