Page 29 - NAMAH-Oct-2018

Namah Emotional Literacy Training

differences. Females being child-bearers, else’s and we attack this other person.
are conditioned to socialise. The male 6. Groupism: ‘us’ versus ‘them’. The out-
brain drives alone better and thus takes group’s members are de-personalised.
on leadership roles. Women empathise Often no real contact is made with them.
better, but tend to worry about inter- They are hated and made scapegoats.
personal interactions. The male hormone, Their downfall makes the in-group
testosterone, triggers aggression, which happy. When someone feels rejected,
can be seen in the courtship rituals of they become angry, then aggressive.
horned animals. 7. Labelling and being judgmental: this social
drag on a person gives him no second
Topic 5: anti-patterns chance to prove himself to be different.
He may feel frustrated and act out.
We will discuss behaviour patterns that 8. Power-play: how does a person in control
one should avoid. Some of them have film behave with subordinates? Are they the
clippings, some have snippets from stories. ‘lick-up kick-down’ sort? Do they help
Some have full stories that illustrate a pattern. their wards grow? Do they advise when
Participants should be encouraged to think of not asked for? Are they patronising,
these patterns and come up with an example controlling?
for each. In the next session each one will give 9. Attraction distortions: how are lovers treated?
his example, and the others will guess which Controlling, needy, safe, inhibited, jealous,
pattern he is illustrating. Participants can condescending? When a baby is safe with
choose to enact one or more of these patterns its mother, it grows up comfortable with
with someone else, or do it solo. They can others around him. If he is neglected, he
write up some dialogue or share something grows up needy, inhibited. If the mother
they have read. Case studies of some of the was anxious, she passes these states onto
patterns will be explored. her baby. He will then be anxious, jealous,
suspicious of his partner.
1. Selfishness: thinking, “What’s in it for me?” 10. Anger and aggression: it was once
Deceptive, jealous, greedy, hating, taker, thought that venting these feelings will
diminisher. act as catharsis. But the contrary occurs.
2. Abuse: psychological abuse of ridiculing, It becomes addictive and the outbursts
scolding, being indifferent. Physical abuse a habit. Just as addicts are asked to
of beating and neglect. abstain, anger is also better bottled up.
3. Rationalisation: provide justification for our Anger causes stress within, which can
bad behaviour. For example, when we tease be released with forgiving.
someone because ‘everyone else is doing it’ 11. Group-think: groups do not think. None
or because ‘he needs to develop resilience’. take responsibility for group actions. Some
4. Displacement: snap at someone safer to use the de-individuated state to act out
vent, when we cannot snap back at the vilely. Some become social loafers. They
aggressor. don’t contribute but hope to grab a share.
5. Projection: a defence-mechanism where 12. Authority: people follow an authoritative
we imagine our weakness to be someone figure blindly, even if they are made to

29