Page 19 - NAMAH-Apr-2019

Namah Protecting innocence

She has protected children from their Yet we are always comparing — ourselves,
parents, sometimes even scolded them for other people, events, memories, artwork,
demanding the child’s love without returning literature, performances, and so on. It is hard not
it (3). She wrote a booklet called The Ideal to compare because we are mental beings, and
Child, and another that goes with it, called the mind works by classification, correlation,
The Ideal Parent. Certain schools in the US assigning relative grades. Comparing ourselves
now have self-awareness programmes for with others is a subconscious habit, which
children. It teaches compassionate listening, gets reinforced when we are compared as
compassionate parenting, compassionate children. Very easily we cross the healthy
leadership, social harmony, conflict resolution, limit and become competitive, jealous, angry,
meditation. Parents who hurt their children are afraid, conceited. With the help of the
also coached. witness consciousness, we can catch ourselves
comparing. The next step would be to replace
The act of being conscious of others around it with true understanding. Comparing
us, of being able to empathise with them, children with anyone else often maims
feeling part of a whole, were deeply ingrained the child. There is a slim chance that this
in ancient traditions. In the Upanissads it is said will spur him on, but more often it will
you can be free of fear and delusion when discourage him and make him hate the
you realise everything is You. You can truly person he was compared to. Siblings are
love when you realise it’s all the same Self. often compared, with the result that they
In other religions too, there are variations end up hating each other.
of the Golden Rule and the parable of the
Good Samaritan. In indigenous cultures Some people are overly critical of others.
around the world there was no concept of Criticism without goodwill behind it makes
private property. The pre-digital era had the victim spiral downwards. Everyone,
fables, fairy tales, pañcatantras, puraannas to especially children, should be encouraged,
teach good and evil to children. When these even if one thinks they do not merit it.
same tender brains are fed war video games, Encouraging is different from praising.
it is not surprising that they grow up with Encouragement acts as a self-fulfilling
personality defects. It would be nice to have prophecy, just as discouraging does. Not
a vital education programme for children of encouraging a child creates long-term psycho-
all classes, irrespective of whether they can logical defects in the child. He never gets
afford a school with self-awareness training enough self-confidence, sometimes to the
or not. And this programme should include extent of sabotaging himself to prove his
all the adults in their community, not just the elder’s poor opinion of himself. Praising too
hurtful parents. Parents who have a strong easily can become counter-productive, but
character don’t need to work hard educating keeping silent is worse.
children. They are always teaching — by
simply being good role models. Carefree days?

Each one is endowed differently; each soul The best memories we have are from childhood:
has come down for a different experience. of those carefree days we spent with loved

19