Page 13 - NAMAH-Jul-2018

Namah An Emotional Literacy Programme

appeal to all members of a working group to can work on the problem within themselves.
join. In the field of psychological counselling, But there is an advantage in sharing. Those
it is customary to be non-coercive. It is said, who are sharing will find it uncomfortable,
“You can take the horse to the water but you shameful even; but it is easier to surmount
cannot make it drink. You can change yourself the problem when shared. The reason for
but you cannot change others.” If offending group therapy is to see that there are others
persons do not want to change themselves, with the same struggles. The shadows we
or do not see that they are offending others, repress show up in ugly dreams and make
then the counsellor cannot help improve the us feel vulnerable, diffident, self-pitying. The
situation. All he can do is tell the victim to be lessons need to be applied in real life, outside
resilient, think of positive things, change his the class, but the personal stories should not
workplace, avoid the offender, etc. Helpful, be repeated outside.
but only half as good. If the counsellor looks
upon the community as an integral body, then If the entire workforce or class of students
he would care for the aggressor as much as has come together to learn, then it becomes
the victim. He may still not be able to force much easier to practise outside the classroom.
the aggressor to change, but he can try to Participants can refer to certain lessons they
make him see the victim’s perspective. He learnt together. They can warn each other before
can walk with him and show him compassion an act is committed. We don’t notice certain
to make it blossom in the aggressor. He can trends in our behaviour or a facial expression
reason, encourage and persuade him to join before wehave an episode. My blind-spot is
the programme. clear to someone else and their blind-spot is
clear to me. We can show these blind-spots to
The willingness to look at one’s faults takes each other in a gentle manner. The bottom line
courage. Those with insecure egos, like is mutual respect, the willingness to help each
narcissists for example, will look upon it as other and the joy of progressing together.
self-extinction. Even if the offender does not
join, the rest can, and despite the offender’s Metrics and wish-lists
absence can make great progress. I found this
quote helpful — “Don’t treat people as bad as While we practise what we are learning in the
they are, treat them as good as you are.” At the programme we should try to keep track of two
end, it is all about active surrender. You do metrics. Our own progress and the change
your best, be your best at all times and leave we see in those we interact with. Journaling
the rest to the Grace. our observations and how we have applied
our learning is extremely useful. Even if we
Code of conduct don’t read our entries later, the act of writing
them down makes us think about them in a
Since we are discussing our personal problems, focused manner. To encourage oneself, one
it is important that nobody uses it to belittle us can set goals. This can be done by preparing
later. Names of other persons do not need to be a wish-list for ourselves and others in our
taken, unless it profits them too. If someone is lives, including children. In our list we can
not ready to share, they do not have to. They be precise, if that is what works best for us.

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